Grayson Murray remembered as caring, thoughtful friend in funeral service

Grayson Murray was already well under par when he reached the 13th tee at Carolina Country Club a few weeks ago. One of two N.C. State golfers in the group, Cade McLaughlin, had just hit his tee shot to 2 feet on the 195-yard par 3. The college kid didn’t say anything, but there was a discernable bounce in his step after hitting an impressive shot in front of a two-time PGA TOUR winner.

Then Murray stepped up to the tee. He sent his shot airborne, watched it bounce twice and then saw it fall in the hole.

“Body language spoke volumes. ‘This is how the pros do it.’ It was amazing that it was his 17th hole-in-one,” said Dave Owen, a friend of Murray’s who also was in the group. “But after high-fives and hugs, it was such an amazing time to watch his interaction with these two younger guys. His attitude that day, his demeanor, was humble. His words were kind. His attention to the guys’ questions was so engaged. He answered every question with both joy and detail.

“And little did I know it would be the last time I ever spoke in-person to him or gave him a hug.”

Owen, the pastor of Providence Church in Raleigh, North Carolina, first met Murray a dozen years ago. They met in a Starbucks to discuss the big questions of life. “It was intense and loaded with questions that wouldn’t be answered for about another 10 years,” Owen recalled.

They reconnected a year ago, while Murray was waiting to hit during a Korn Ferry Tour event in Raleigh. When he spotted Owen spectating from outside the ropes, Murray walked over and gave him a hug. Their friendship grew as texts and calls followed. They prayed together and played golf together. Owen quickly recognized a changed man, one who was very different than the college student he’d first met in a coffee shop.

“I knew something had radically changed. I knew darkness, depression, addictions had been a theme and real struggles, but there was light in his eyes and hope in his voice and peace in his heart,” Owen said. “There had been rehab and tools to help, but there was something seemingly deeper than some of those tools. Grayson had encountered the truth of who Jesus Christ was and what Christ had accomplished for him.”

Owen delivered those words Monday at Murray’s funeral in Providence Church. Murray, the two-time PGA TOUR winner, died at age 30 on May 25. He was remembered Monday as a caring and thoughtful friend whose life was on an upward trajectory before he died by suicide.

Country music star Jake Owen, who called his friendship with Murray “one of the great gifts I was ever given in my life,” played the hymn “How Great Thou Art.” PGA TOUR players Chesson Hadley and Webb Simpson delivered remembrances via video. The Carolina Hurricanes’ Jacob Slavin, a friend of Murray, also spoke and delivered a prayer at Monday’s service.

“He was in full stride,” said Murray’s longtime swing coach, Ted Kiegiel, said of Murray. “He was in full stride. Everything was in alignment in his life.”

Murray had gotten sober, gotten in shape, gotten engaged and regained his PGA TOUR card. He earned his second PGA TOUR title in January at the Sony Open in Hawaii.

“He burned the brightest for those 12 months that sobriety was part of his life,” Kiegiel said.

Murray was an intense competitor. He was remembered as punctual and honest, but sobriety helped him use that intensity to draw people in instead of pushing them away. Kiegiel remembered how at this year’s Masters, Murray’s first time competing at Augusta National, Murray drove all the way down Magnolia Lane each day instead of making a quick right into the player parking lot. The longer route allowed his friends and family to savor one of golf’s most famous drives.

“He wanted his family to have the full treatment every day,” Kiegiel said.

When Murray thought he had missed the cut, he stopped the car during that last drive down the famed lane and asked, “Do you know what the best part of this week was?” His family waited in anticipation for the answer. He didn’t cite seeing Amen Corner or the fulfillment of a childhood dream.

“The best day was Wednesday, spending the day with Christiana,” his fiancée, Murray said, according to Kiegiel. She caddied for him in the Par-3 Contest and hit tee shots and putts, to the delight of the patrons.

One of Murray’s longtime friends, Austin, remembered traveling to the Bahamas with Murray this fall, a sober celebration of his 30th birthday. “It was one of the first times I saw him smile ear-to-ear in some time. That was the Grayson I knew.”

He remembered Murray, a passionate Carolina Hurricanes fan, sounding the siren that precedes the start of the team’s games. He would take pictures and sign autographs for anyone who asked. “No was never an answer,” Austin said.

He closed his speech with words of encouragement, asking people to remember that “words can be hurtful. They also can be inspiring.”

“I hope you seek help in times of need,” he told those gathered.

Murray was remembered for having the courage to speak about his weaknesses. “He knew deep down that it was a way to continue to heal and to help others,” Owen said.

He said Murray was “a new man with a heavy history, a hard past but a bright future.”

That man was remembered Monday.