‘I’ve found healing’, Folds of Honor scholarships have changed lives for military dependents left behind

ORLANDO, Fla. – Tiffany Eckert and her children have seen the dark side of war that few of us ever will see. On May 8, 2005, her husband, U.S. Army Reserve Sgt. Gary “Andy” Eckert of Toledo, Ohio, died from injuries sustained when an improvised explosive device detonated near the Humvee in which he was traveling in Samarra, Iraq.

Andy was 24, Tiffany only 23, a young mother to a daughter, Marlee, then 20 months, and a month-old son, Myles. Tiffany Eckert will be 40 in December, having spent nearly half of her life as a military widow. Marlee and Myles are now in high school, and there are reminders each day, some subtle, some not, about the giant hole in their lives left by their father not being here.

Tiffany told her family’s story Wednesday night on the eve of the inaugural Folds of Honor Cup at Lake Nona Golf & Country Club. (The event would be contested the next day, Veterans Day, beneath blue skies.) The clinking of glasses and echoes of conversation ceased as she spoke of loss, gratitude and her tough, sometimes awkward moments as a single parent – even just being the only female on her block who shovels her own driveway in winter. It was a message of hope, an awakening for all those with “conventional” lives: Don’t take for granted the little, yet poignant daily moments that so easily pass on by.

“When I speak about ‘our side of war,’ I talk about the real-life moments, the ones that everyone else might take for granted,” Tiffany said a day later, seated inside a quiet room in the Lake Nona clubhouse. “When I’m trying to play catch with my son, we look at each other, and it’s unspoken. His dad would have been better at this. Or when Myles learned how to shave. I bought him a razor and said, ‘Do you want me to help you?’ He told me, No, I’ll figure it out,’ and he did. But his dad should have been there for that.”

Both Marlee and Myles have been helped greatly by being Folds of Honor educational scholarship recipients. The Folds was started by Air Force Lt. Col. Dan Rooney, an F-16 fighter pilot who flew three combat tours in Iraq. He’s also a PGA professional, motivational speaker, and author whose life changed one night in 2006. He was a passenger on United #664 to Grand Rapids, Michigan, watching out his window in tears as the flag-draped casket of Army Cpl. Brock Bucklin was lowered down the cargo ramp. Bucklin’s twin brother, Brad, was on that flight, escorting his brother home one last time; Brock’s family watched from the tarmac, among them his 4-year-old son, Jacob.

In was a transformative moment for Rooney, compounded by his anger and frustration when half the flight’s passengers stood up and nonchalantly departed the aircraft after they’d been asked to respectfully remain seated as the casket was lowered off the plane. There were no connecting flights for anyone to catch. That anger mixed with the sadness of seeing a young boy outside who never would go fishing with his father, or attend a baseball game. How could Rooney “undo” just a small part of this family’s pain?

Later that year, Rooney and his dad, John Rooney, held a tournament at a Michigan golf course they owned called Grand Haven (now American Dunes). The event raised about $8,700. They kept going, and today, the Folds has distributed more than 35,000 educational scholarships (most at the $5,000 level) totaling more than $160 million. The Folds is rated a 4-star (out of 4) charity by Charity Navigator, with nine cents on every dollar generated going to scholarships. Thanks to big fundraising events such as the Folds of Honor Cup, 7,000 scholarships will be awarded in 2021. Forty-one percent of the scholarships awarded are given to minority recipients.

Rooney and his foundation not only are changing lives, but raising awareness for a tremendous need. Out of 2.5 million dependents of military members killed or disabled, nine of 10 receive no federal education assistance.

“That’s where the Folds of Honor steps in,” Rooney said. “The world we live in, it’s so easy to forget that freedom isn’t free, especially as conflict winds down. People don’t realize the true lasting impact, when it comes to the context of the Folds of Honor, are the families.

“To be able to create events like this one that give people a vehicle to understand what the Folds is, and give back, makes Veterans Day much more meaningful than just saying, ‘Thank you for your service.’ If you are truly thankful, if you love your country, then what better way to invest in the future of our families who have been impacted in conflict?”

On this Veterans Day at Lake Nona, a mix of celebrities and athletes played in fivesomes alongside foundation donors and military members. There were Navy Seals and Army Rangers and Air Force fighter pilots, veterans of conflicts in Vietnam as well as Iraq and Afghanistan. General John W. “Jay” Raymond of the United States Space Force played. The Tavistock Group, which owns two of Orlando’s top golf properties (Isleworth and Lake Nona), generously donated the golf course for the day.

LPGA Hall of Fame golfers Nancy Lopez and Annika Sorenstam played. (Sorenstam donated the auction hit of the cocktail party: two nights at Spanish Bay, a foursome at Pebble Beach, a private lesson, and the chance to join her when she is honored at The Langley, a prestigious California event. The winning bid for the Folds eclipsed $30,000.) Athletic standouts Ken Griffey Jr., Charles Woodson and Johnny Damon played, as did actor Michael Pena and singer Javier Colon. Air Force Academy grad Kyle Westmoreland, who will play the Korn Ferry Tour next season, was there. Television personality Bret Baier was on hand to join Rooney for a few national morning hits on Fox & Friends, helping to push the Folds’ Squadron program, which asks patriots to make recurring donations of $13 a month. As many as 1,000 new Squadron members might sign up on a day like this. Every penny means something.

Baier, a good player who carries a GHIN index of 2.8, hit the ground running early Thursday after taking a redeye flight from Phoenix. It was a small sacrifice to be there to honor the many military heroes who have made the ultimate sacrifice. Baier was a reporter covering the Pentagon on 9/11, and he traveled the world with the military.

“I really came to respect the sacrifice and service, not only of the men and women who serve, but their families,” Baier said. “A day like this is special. I’m playing with three veterans, and hearing their stories. One served in Vietnam. There are Bronze Star winners out here. It’s really awesome. I think it’s important to take those times to say, ‘Thanks,’ and Veterans Day is one of them, honoring the living, breathing veterans who are serving now. And Memorial Day is the day that we remember all those who paid the ultimate sacrifice.”

Nancy Lopez had to reapply her makeup before the clock had struck 8:30 a.m., having teared up at a beautiful rendition of the national anthem performed by Yolanda Stallworth, ROTC Air Force Detachment 159, a junior at the nearby University of Central Florida. The morning’s Opening Ceremonies were filled with patriotic moments. Against the backdrop of the 18th fairway and glassy Lake Nona, bagpipers from the City of Mount Dora’s Pipes and Drum corps played “Amazing Grace,” as well as hymns from each of the country’s military branches.

There was a 21-gun salute. Taps pierced the air, sounded on a singular trumpet, something that takes place every day at 1300 hours at the two courses with which Rooney is affiliated, The Patriot in Owasso, Oklahoma, and American Dunes in Grand Haven. (The 1300 is tied to the 13 purposeful folds in an American flag.) Half a dozen members of the Patriot Parachute Team soared in hot with trailing flumes of orange smoke as they landed in full sprint on the 18th fairway. It was a ceremony that filled the heart.

“When I hear our national anthem, I don’t think I’ve ever not teared up,” said Lopez, who met Rooney at a long-ago Vince Gill tournament and fell in love with his foundation’s mission. “The men and women who have lost their lives for this country, they loved this country, and were doing what they could to protect us. If you can’t understand it, it baffles me. I thank them. Today, on Veterans Day, I thank them for giving us so much.”

Rooney once pinned pictures of his young scholarship recipients to the refrigerator at home in Oklahoma, where he lives with his wife, Jacqy, and their five daughters, all of whom make sacrifices themselves when their dad hits the road for yet another appearance or speaking engagement. Some 14 years after the Folds was created, Rooney is seeing those young students graduate from college. They are an impressive group, and collectively doing amazing things.

One recipient attending the Folds of Honor Cup was Do’Monique Noel . She is only 18, but when she stepped on campus at the University of Central Florida this fall, she already had earned 61 college credits, the equivalent of an Associate’s degree. She is a Biomedical Sciences major who will graduate in 2023, and wants to become a pediatrician. Donna Noel, Do’Monique’s father, is a retired Army E-8 master sergeant. Being a Folds of Honor scholarship recipient means the world, and allows her to attend college debt-free.

“To be able to go to college and having this scholarship, it really takes a lot of the weight off my shoulders,” Noel said. “I’m very thankful. It’s an honor to be here, especially on Veterans Day. I’m appreciative of all those who have served their country.”

Tiffany Eckert also continues to be grateful. Her son, Myles, has had learning challenges and once struggled in school. Tiffany was told she needed to find a life track for him, as he would not be attending college when he got older. His Folds scholarship allows the family to pay for a tutor, and he now is on track to attend college. Marlee’s scholarship allows her to attend one of the top private high schools in the Toledo area, and she is thriving. An excellent student with a high GPA, she will have great choices for colleges.

As for Tiffany, she is upholding the last promise that she made to Andy. In the final conversation they would share, just hours before an IED detonated near his Humvee, Andy told his young wife that he had a bad feeling about his situation, and that he knew he would not be coming home. He also told Tiffany that he loved her more than anything, and that she was the smartest person he’d ever met.

Andy told her that she needed to have a college education, and that their children needed to have good educations, as well. In the fall of 2020, Tiffany, her own Folds of Honor scholarship in hand, enrolled at Bowling Green State University in Ohio. She is majoring in Human Development: Family Studies, with a minor in Gerontology, essentially the study of human development across a lifespan. While coaching local high school teams in rowing and broomball (similar to hockey, played on ice), Tiffany is taking six classes and maintains a 4.0 GPA. She is on the Dean’s List and will graduate early. Most beneficial, she says, is that her studies have helped her to learn about herself, and how to better cope with grief.

“I am healing parts of myself that I would have never realized,” she said. “I’m finding it’s helping me to become an even better person.”

Best of all, being in school is helping her keep the promise she made to her husband some 17 years ago, before her world, and that of her children, was completely rocked from its foundation.

“I’ve found healing,” she said. “It’s more than just a scholarship. The Folds is making an investment.”

The heroic work truly takes a village, and it doesn’t stop here.

To learn more about the Folds of Honor, visit foldsofhonor.org